Marriage
God's
Way.
- The experience.
The experience consists of bringing together six couples who have been married for less than two years and form a cohort. It is not recommended for couples who have been married much longer than two years because habits have become too ingrained and each partner is less likely to acknowledge that they are the biggest problem in the marriage.
The cohort meets once a month for a year. They meet in the home of one of the co-leading couples. The co-leaders have typically been married for more than ten years. The sessions are highly interactive, they begin with refreshments followed by a discussion that lasts about an hour. Homework is assigned at the end of each session. The assignment consists of having a conversation with one another about the content just covered and figuring out how to best apply what you learned.
The basis of the materials is decidedly Christian. However, spiritual maturity is not a requirement. To benefit from the discussions one must only be open to BIblical principles. Non-Christian couples who apply what they hear can benefit.
The cohort provides an opportunity to build relationships with couples who are going through a similar season of life. The rose colored glasses are still on but a little askew. The couples are usually surprised to learn how much they have in common. We all learn from one another, including the co-leaders. Pre-marriage counseling can be very beneficial but most couples are not aware of the surprises that await them.
How it began.
The concept was born out of my personal marital experiences and my time as a marriage counselor. Many of the couples I counseled were married for ten years plus. Their habits; their beliefs about one another; and their unwillingness to take personal responsibility for the state of their marriage and/or do the hard work required led to little change. I became more frustrated with my inability to help these couples. I began to turn the corner when Paul Tripp shared with me that “marriage counseling is the easiest form of counseling there is.” He went on to say, “because you know what the couples problem is before you ever see them.” Silence was my best response. He then said, “the biggest problem in all marriages is self-centeredness.” This was a game changer.
I began to realize that most newlyweds come to marriage with a fresh perspective. They are willing to laugh about their quirks and ingrained habits. They are more willing to change and take personal responsibility for what is not working well.
List of Topics:
The Purpose of Marriage, A Vision for Marriage, Self-centeredness, Love and Respect, Intimacy, Forgiveness, Communications, Conflict, Finances , Building Up One Another, Expectations, Spiritual Leadership, Decision Making, Gender Differences
Why people believe in us
“These sessions should be mandatory for any newly married couple”
J.W. Summit Church
“I see these sessions as a gift from God that helped to strip away my selfish/sinful perspective that only valued my own input, and has put into perspective my need for the gospel and the joy that is found in understanding and being understood by the one person I love most in this life.”
D.B. Imago Dei Church
“...We could sense the Holy Spirit working hard on our relationship with each other and God as the months progressed.”
H.S. Summit Church
“I suggest every newly married couple go through this (experience). Our marriage will be impacted by this last year till death do us part.”
C.T. Summit Church
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About Me.
My pre-marriage counseling consisted of a brief meeting with a Pastor who seemed more uncomfortable than I was. What my wife to be and I knew about parenting, managing money, communicating, resolving conflict, and modeling a Biblically based marriage could have been written on the head of a pin. After seven years of marriage my wife was diagnosed with bi-polar illness with a touch of schizophrenia. Needless to say our marriage had more bumps in the road than a Pennsylvania highway. But God was faithful throughout our 38 years of marriage and because of my first wife I have grown spiritually, emotionally, and practically. The Lord called Barbara home in 2002 and she is in a far better place. I think my real passion to see marriages thrive was born both out of the adversity of my first marriage and the incredible blessing of my second. Kathleen and I met on eHarmony in the summer of 2003 and we were married the following Valentine’s Day.
I earned my undergraduate degree from Case-Western Reserve University, my MBA from the University of Pittsburgh and my Master of Arts in Counseling from Biblical Seminary. The bulk of my work experience consisted of 35 years with a major corporation and twelve years with a non-denominational church in the Philadelphia area. I am currently a semi-retired Pastor of Marriage living in the Raleigh area.
-Ron Perry
P.S let's connect!
You can reach me at ronp6943@gmail.com